Fingers Tapping

 April 22, 2024 Morning

I’m not going to the gym because I’m distracted by my new computer. All the new things of Stardew Valley, not to mention catching up on a farm that I haven’t played in years.

I also have this really cool keyboard that is like a typewriter. Very tactile and bouncy and clicky. And it even has a number pad! 123456789 And “end” buttons and all that fancy stuff that I haven’t had on a keyboard in a long time. Like, this is a FULL SIZE keyboard. How did I never think that was important for a writer? I thought that I wouldn’t mind writing on the iPad, but honestly it was kinda terrible for writing longform stuff.

Anyway, yeah, now I have a cool keyboard and Word, which is whatever, but quite good for straight up documents. And, like, compatible and long lasting. I want to write stuff. Like a writer. But I don’t have any ideas. Maybe I could try some prompts. Maybe I could mess around. Maybe I could just continue to write crap like this. Oh, should this be in my diary? Should I be writing for my blog? Maybe I SHOULD just mess around, not be afraid to post random stuff, and see what happens?

2:12 PM

I’m here at the computer again because I just like the feel of my fingers tapping on the keys.

I don’t know how much of me writing in a physical diary was 1) Habits from my childhood because it was way easier and cheaper to use pen and paper. 2) Nostalgia for the past and “simpler” things. 3) All the online rhetoric about how analog things are so much better than digital things. How did I not realize before how ironic it was to be fed that on the internet.

The truth is, I loved typing away on my mom’s old DOS computer. I remember sitting there for hours (although I cannot vow for how accurate that claim is) staring at that blue screen with its yellow letters. I’d fill the page with one letter or symbol, then delete it all and try another, just to see the interesting patterns it made. My mom let me print out stories I wrote, usually not more than a paragraph long, on the printer that used the accordion folded pages that was fed through with holes along perforated strips on both sides. Real old school stuff. I was pretty lucky to live in a household that had a real, working home office.

I always loved typewriters and the idea of typewriters. Hell, I have a painting I did (inspired [copied] from a middle grade book I read years ago) of a typewriter hanging on the wall in our office above this very desk.

I don’t write well on paper. I tried it for a long time because I aspired to it, but it stilted me. I heard Steinbeck say that writing longhand was the best because it made you slow down and get your story out right, but it seems my brain worked too fast for that. Or maybe my hand worked too slow. Maybe he had lightning script. Maybe I just like pressing buttons (I did purchase one of the few ereaders available that has tactile buttons to press to turn the pages) and if it’s fun, I’m more likely to do it. Maybe I’m just excited about it because this computer is a new toy.

I was definitely more excited about my iPad when I first got it than I am now. But that seems disregarding and I don’t feel that. I use my iPad almost everyday because it’s very easy to do some things – like watch videos, search something up on the internet, check email, use Duolingo for my Spanish lessons, update my reading log, etc. – but I must admit, it was not good for writing. I often got very frustrated when trying to get my novel Rock This Summer ready for publication while using the iPad, especially the formatting.

I don’t particularly like this idea of having a specific device for many different things, but sometimes it’s just preferable. And I’m in a family of five. My husband may very well move over to this computer, too (long live is Toshiba, 12 or 13 years old and counting), my kids may need it for schoolwork (although I’m pretty sure they all have access to school-issued Chromebooks), and maybe I’ll end up “giving” my iPad over to them. So far, we’ve got three kids and only two “kid” tablets. That’s not going to last forever and I’d rather not buy another one.

You know, I do recall moments of my teenage years where I would type up my diary entries, scale them down, print them out, and tape them into my diaries. One time was because I hurt my wrist playing basketball and it was too physically uncomfortable to write longhand. Other times it was because the story I wanted to tell was too long and/or complicated and I knew it would just take toooo long to handwrite. And sometimes I think maybe I was just in the mood to type (like today) even though the only thing I wanted to type about was my life.

I do NOT want to transition from diary-writing to blog-posting completely, but maybe there is some room for crossover.

Maybe I just like pressing buttons…